Archive for November, 2007

Coffee Conspiracy

I drink a lot of coffee.  (That’s the understatement of the year, btw.)  I used to be a big Dunkin’ Donuts fan, until I switched to Green Mountain recently.  Because I drink so much coffee, it made sense for me to join the Green Mountain Café Express program, which is just a fancy way of saying I have a standing order with them to send me my coffee every few weeks so I don’t go into withdrawal and start hurting motherfuckers.

So, here’s the weird thing and the reason I’m posting: every now and then, I need to make a quick adjustment to my order.  Sometimes I want them to send more coffee, sometimes less, etc.  The tricky part is trying to remember when the next scheduled shipment is, and then remembering to log in to their site to change the order before it goes out.

Ok, so what’s the weird part?  Well, the last two or three times I’ve logged in to try to change my order, the Green Mountain site has informed me that my Café Express order just shipped!  Witness today’s message:

Note: Your last Café EXPRESS order shipped 11/29/07.

Now, this is crazy.  First of all, 11/29 is today.  It’s like 7:15am.  I don’t believe they really shipped it yet.  Furthermore, what kind of cosmic coincidence is it that whenever I am about to change my order, it ships!

(Hold on while I put my tinfoil hat on . . . )

So, my theory is that Green Mountain is afraid I’m going to cancel my Café Express order, so they tell me the most recent order has already shipped as a way of ensuring they can charge me for at least one more order.

I know, it sounds wacky, but this is at least the third time this has happened.

(Hmm, this tinfoil hat is comfy. Maybe I’ll leave it on for a while and head over here.)

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